A F F I L I A T E S |

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E N T R I E S |

the sound of waves,
lapping the shore.
just like the songs you used to sing.
the gentle breeze,
caressing my face.
reminds me of you.
i see the sunset,
with your head on my shoulders.
your hand in mine,
we would have been so happy.
together.

"General abdominal pain is often all that the patient will complain of during the first few hours of his attack.... But after the first few hours it becomes more evident that the chief seat of pain is at [the iliac fossa], and the general pain then usually subsides.... In every case the seat of greatest pain, determined by the pressure of one finger, has been very exactly between an inch and a half and two inches from _____ (where?)"

Auguries of Innocence by William Blake

To see a world in a grain of sand,
And a heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,
And eternity in an hour.

pretty aint it. thanks Priya. :)

today's episode in TTSH left me with many questions, for which i have little or no answers. in the midst of all the mugging, reading up, clerking patients, sometimes, we get too caught up in the motion of things that we dont actually realise patients are actually humans too.

while the sun is up, every one scurries around the ward like headless chickens, nurses updating casefiles, med students chasing casefiles, docs screaming for casefiles. everyoine wants a piece of the casefile. (if you didnt know, yes, casefiles are such hot stuff in the wards)

and well, patients are but inanimate objects decorating the wards waiting to be wheeled off for the next scan, or the hungry medstudent to pounce on for a physical exam.

its not until the sun sets, population density in the wards decreases dramatically, and the pace slows down, when you start having feelings for these patients. the loneliness in the ward begins to sink in. and its only then you feel the vulnerability of patients, and the fragility of life.

tonight i tried cannulating a patient. i remembered him, because i clerked him as a case last week. i dont know if he recognised me, but i definitely did. just last week, though jaundiced, he was still able to walk about in the wards, read newspapers, talk to students. he was full of life.

but now, he seemed a changed person. his face had a tiredness to it. and he lay quietly in bed, not saying much anymore. from his expression, i could tell, he wasnt very well. i knew his condition, i knew what he was going through. and such drastic change in mere 5days.

the scene before me left questions in my head. what would a patient who was dying be thinking of? as life was slowly being drawn away from him, what would he hold important anymore?

we might work so hard to achieve many things in life. money, status, power. not to say they're not impt, but which of these will stay by us in our last moments of life and accompany us on our way? slightly morbid thoughts. but it strikes a chord. i'd like to hold on to the hands of those closest to me and go peacefully.

it was not this incident merely that made me contemplate on these issues. earlier on in the day, i talked to another patient who seemed to have everything go wrong in his life, and most importantly, nothing was ever his fault. absolutely nothing.

we may lament that life isnt fair, but really, sometimes you just have to suck it up and deal with it best as you can. cos nobody's gonna pity you.

well in the end, i must say, i never successfully cannulated the patient, neither was this night call the most exciting with new cases to be clerked, great signs to be elicited. but it definitely gave me a feel of the humane side of medicine. to respect every patient as a fellow individual and to alleviate pain to the best of our ability even if it means merely offering a listening ear when you cannot help much.

to see someone at his weakest gives you the power to make a difference in his life.

i'm really thankful i took up medicine.

there will never be an end to the many wants in life.

what's more important is not to think of them.

actually, on hindsight, that isnt a really good idea.

in fact, we should turn those wants into haves.

then they wont bother you anymore.

HAHA.

ahhh. so many things to do. so many so many so many things to do. everyday spending 20981293 hours at the hospital! no time to read, no time to sleep, no time to do my own things. ARGH.

its scary thinking abt the sheer amount of stuff we needa know just for surg. can you imagine what's gonna happen for med posting?! ah. being thrown at the deep end of the pool. its scary. =X

went for a haircut as well. while at it, popped by to Isetan next door and saw that there was a very very very pretty lime pair of shoes that melted my heart immediately. i heard it call out to me, bring me home bring me hommeeee....

so i got this pair of lime version sneakers from Mango. it was a collaboration between Victoria and Mango, two of Spain’s most youthful brands of the day. while at it, the bag sitting on the counter of Homini Emerito made friends with my shoe and decided to find its way into my shopping bag as well. lol.



hennyway back to my liver.

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reuben.
21.august.1988
leo.

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