Sunday, June 21, 2009
and on the eve of the new beginning, i sit in front of my computer apprehensive of the future. not exactly apprehensive actually, well more of a butterflies in my stomach first-day-of-school jitters. it is afterall back to NUS for one entire day of school (and all my freaking pens dont work, i needa get new ones tmr), nonstop lectures from 10am to dunno when, before finally embarking on a nonstop rollercoaster surgery ride at TTSH for a whoopping 8weeks.
so this marks the beginning of my 3rd year of medical school.
medical school runs on the weirdest timetable ever. just counting the days i am in school for year one, it'd be at most... 8mths, including the short one week breaks in between terms etc etc. punctuated with a nice 4mtheuropetripbreak which i dearly miss in between m1 and m2. the same rough 8mths for the second year. then the 4mth break shortens into a pathetic one month break. and thats not all, the subsequent years are continuous, only relieved by 1week breaks between postings.
from now on, its only moving forward towards MBBS. its exciting, perilious and yet a heavy responsibility. sometimes i'm afraid i'd lose myself in all this. not to be able to pursue the things i love ever. and i dont ever want that to happen. to be this corpse-like medical student pallorific (pale and horrific) who knows nothing but to read textbooks and notes.
its easy to indulge and get obsessed. similarly its easy to get overly complacent. i dont want either. i wanna be just nice in the centre. and that takes work. urgh.
well, a new beginning is always a chance to strive for the things we want. and at the end of the day i just wanna be a good doc without losing myself. =)
take it up and put it down.
11:03 PM
Thursday, June 11, 2009
i was just leaving j8 for home after having bought my dinner, when i saw the 410 leave the busstop. maybe it was just my luck, or my lack of skill, that i couldnt jaywalk across the road amidst the heavy traffic. sitting at the bus stop, my mind wandered. it was almost like an out of body experience and my gazed settled on a familiar sight.
i first moved to bishan in primary four, roughly 9 years ago. i can safely say that i already know this area at the back of my hand. but nothing so familiar as a place i frequented nearly everyday for the past 6 years. Raffles Institution and Raffles Junior College, an integral part of me.
So being nostalgic and curious about the recent developments of my alma mater, i decided to take a slow walk through the compound, reminiscing my days back then, and the memories each nook and cranny held for me.
it must seem weird to others, afterall, my fingers tell me i'm already j5 this year, this affection between me and something so inanimate. but to me, the strange familiarity of the walls and its corridors, the banners that display the achievements of rafflesians old and new, classrooms that i once spent at least 6 hours in everyday, contain a life and a spirit. it is not merely walls or classrooms anymore.
maybe they call this the rafflesian spirit; the breath of life that each rafflesian injects into his alma mater's hallowed halls. to be able to feel that i was once a part of something greater, and still am; the fact that i was a part of a legacy and a tradition of excellence, makes me swell with indescribable pride. i am a product of raffles.
the school has improved its facilities, with the recent surge in funds, the school hall was made over, the field was turned into a new and improved astroturf and an entire area dedicated to softball. classrooms in the GEP block have been converted into offices for high ranking officials, an entirely new senior block and boarding house has been constructed.
nevertheless, with so many changes, i could still recognise my school. because outwardly it may have changed, but the familiarity lie with the school culture and how raffles provides its students with countless opportunities to stretch and nurture them into the best that they can be. that has never changed.
i walked by the clocktower towards LT1. my classrooms over 4 years were in close proximity to the lecture theatre in the admin block. LT1 being the biggest lecture theatre in RI was naturally its performance theatre. it held many memories of my drama days. Sing to the Dawn rehearsals, Dramafeste. as well as the combined chinese lectures in sec 4 by Wei Ling who would order Lim Si Hui around to switch on the aircon, turn off the lights, set up the projector etc..
i walked through the junior block. the junior block memories i had were of History Drama, the photocopying shop aunty and the first day of school when i went to meet my PSL class 1A for the first time. well of course also the computer lessons we had in the computer lab and how zhunrui had a crush on sharon xu. hahaha. and before i eventually left for the raja block, i saw the RIPB board.
speaking of prefects and the junior block, i'd say the first person that comes to my mind would be Lim Aik. as insignificant as we think Peer Support Group Meetings were, i must say they left their mark on me. in our formative stages of life in secondary school, a senior role model would make a great impact. and i always looked up to my PSLs, in fact, i still do rmb their faces and sometimes, i see them around school, i go up and say hi.
i still keep in contact with my PSL class and i'm glad i've forged a friendship with some of them, which i believe will last at least a few years more. they're j2's already. before long they'd be taking their A levels and being whisked off to army, not to mention, some disrupting for medicine and others for their overseas studies. how time flies.
i believe this trip back has made me think of the times i've spent with people in my school. ask anyone and they'd speak fondly of the memories in secondary school, the good, the bad and the ugly. even with the bad and the ugly, we'd just laugh it off now, given our immaturity in those days. and we slowly move on in the phases of our lives.
i've always wondered what would happen if we brought people from different phases together. would it ever end up with something beautiful? or was it never meant to be? i'd never know.
take it up and put it down.
11:59 AM
Sunday, June 07, 2009
Cause' if one day you wake up,
and find that you're missing me,
and your heart starts to wonder
where on this earth I could be,
Thinking maybe you'd come back here
to the place that we'd meet
and you'd see me waiting for you
on the corner of the street
so I'm not moving..
the memories.
take it up and put it down.
5:15 PM
