A F F I L I A T E S |

P R O F I L E |

E N T R I E S |

the sound of waves,
lapping the shore.
just like the songs you used to sing.
the gentle breeze,
caressing my face.
reminds me of you.
i see the sunset,
with your head on my shoulders.
your hand in mine,
we would have been so happy.
together.

Kalimeera! (good morning in greek)

greetings from the land of olive oil. apollo shine on you and athena shower wisdom on all of you. WAHAHHAA. okay im in greece and apollo the sun god is shining like a mad dog. yes. its blardy freaking hot. i think im gonna chao tar when i get back. everyday walk in the sun visit this ruin that ruin. super tiring. and its 1230am which is 530am singapore time. i hope i dont screw my body clock when i get back in 20odd days.

the first few days in greece have been good. I AM PROUD TO ANNOUNCE THAT I CAN READ GREEK SIGNS. they dont look greek to me!! =D wahahhaa. okay disclaimer: reading is not understanding. reading = pronouncing hor. they use a phonetics system as well. so substitute ur pi sigma theta for P, S and T. then READ the word! so clever right. we figured this out on our own. day 3 in greece. i feel SO much more intelligent.

the sun is hot. the air is dry (humidity damn low. so low until i can perspire and not feel sticky in the hot sun. amazing) and thus my skin is creacking and peeling. same thing that happened during the london trip. but now, armed with moisturizers im all ready to fight the weather man. =)

i feel bad cheating the METRO system in Greece. But train tickets here are so ex. to the point that if we save 1 euro on every trip, for the 5 days here we can easily save roughly 15euros = S$30 leh. plus the trip to the airport and all. oh well.

anw, the food here is really good. had quite alot of their grills called SOUVLAKIS. very much like our mac donald's chicken foldover but this is the authentic version. grilled meat on kebabs or gyros (this whole string of meat on a giant skewer) then wrap it in pitas bread and add onions, lettuces and TOMATOES (my favourite), sometimes fries and yoghurt for like 1.70euros. not too bad for snacking.

okay, im tired. 1241am. will blog more next time. only 2 more days in greece. im beginning to love it. but we're gonna leave soon... wat a pity. alright sleep time. NIGHTS!

We are the young
The children of the world
We hold tomorrow in our hands
We are the young
The promise of a brighter day
The future waits at our command

Teach us well, teach us how to care
Give us love, love that we can share
And we'll walk hand in hand in the light of the rising sun
We are the young

We are the young
And so we'll look to you
To show us how the world should be
We are the young
We trust in your experience
To help us shape our destiny

That day is dawning when we will be grown
We will inherit this world for our own
We are the young
We are the young

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Deep down, we all desire to connect with others. We are human, and humans are social creatures. This relief teaching stint has made me more aware of what I think is important in life. Satisfaction. Something I cannot live without.

These three days have been the most memorable for the entire holidays. The six classes that I've taught, thank you for making this holidays such a meaningful one. Every class has had a significant impact no matter how noisy, how naughty, how rowdy they were. I made new friends, and I know they're gonna last beyond my short 3 weeks there.

I met many people back in both RI and RJ. The peepz from 1A (my PSL class) back then in Seconary 4, all of them have matured and grown. They look SO different. But its the warm fuzzy feeling inside me that makes me feel so gratified when I see them around RJ. Even had lunch with some of them, got to know how they're doing in school an all.

Met Rongsiu, who was selling icecream in RJ with Chen Feng for a CIP trip. Caught up with her after she MIA-ed so long in Angmoh Land. The days our clique went out on Prata trips to skip Boring Biology Lectures. The times we made CCP angry and how she hated all three of us despite Rongsiu not doing anything (dislike by association theory). And how we bitched about people. I miss those times. RJ would have been so different without those two girls.

RI has its fair share of memories. I was walking to the busstop at roughly 8pm from the school and I saw a few boys sitting on the astroturf talking. I remember how we used to play wargames on the astroturf during school camps, how we went around topless for our sec 1 orientation night walk. Fond memories really. And I felt really nostalgic.

All in all, I'm proud to tell people I'm a Rafflesian. Because Raffles has made me who I am today.

sometimes, words dont mean anything anymore. the emotional attachments and the vivid imagery that certains words conjure no longer exist. or they may still exist, but diminished and muted.

with the arrival of newer nouns, the older ones have become obsolete. verbs that were once used in conjuction with those nouns have similarly ceased. and what happened to those words like "and", "in addition to", "with" that once held us together?

when communication breaks down. words no longer mean anything. sentences are merely words filling up the empty spaces, accompanied by more void-filler expressions which do not even reflect what you think or say.

words are the bridge between individuals. the more that can be said, the stronger the bond. and i feel the silence eating away at the foundations of what we once held so close. to reminisce about the good ole days would bring nothing but pain.

the exchanges are superficial. and you, a stranger. i wish i never had to give up though. but it was too tiring just working on my own. we work and we try till we reach a point of learned helplessness. then we say, enough is enough.

if there is anything exchanged, it is a barrage of colours and heat. the irony of comfort level making it uncomfortable.

as with all humans, I sincerely believe in hope. because of the existence of words like "again" and "one more time". when used in conjunction with verbs like "try" and "work out", the world suddenly seems more beautiful. fear goes away, if we can defeat it hand in hand.

so please. and thank you.

he's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar,
the only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star.
he's the song in the car,
i keep singing, don't know why i do.

its scary when you walk from light into darkness.
because you cannot see.
thus you are afraid.

but ever wondered.
what if you've been living in the dark.
would you be afraid of the light?

it hurts doesnt it.
i dont know.
a decision beyond me.
what do you want from me.

i fake a smile so he won't see...

when we're blasted by the deafening noise of our surroundings, we tend to forget to listen to the little voice on the inside of us. our true self. our calling. what we really want in life.

when we move around so obsessed with our daily routines, we forget that life sometimes was meant to be enjoyed at a slower pace. days pass us by like seconds. and we dont remember time anymore.

what we read, see or hear will influence us in some way or another. prolonged exposure to a certain brand of texts and friends overwrite our innate self, of who were really are.

sometimes we've got to take a step back and just quieten our hearts. and listen. listen. and think. i need to do alot of thinking these few days. i really do. alot of thinking and only one choice to make.

its like needles. you fear the pain of the incoming prick of that dastardly small metal cylinder. but once its gone in, you know thats the worst it can ever get. and the pain lasts for awhile, before relief sets in when it leaves you.

the worst that can ever happen has happened. and its over. i dont know what to feel. i dont know what to say. the first time where i'm really lost.

god help me.

im sorry.

some things never change.

i paid a visit to the photocopying shop just not too long ago as i had to get some worksheets printed for my class for next week's lessons. so while sitting down at the table and filling up a small form to indicate how many sets and for which class, i decided to try my luck with the photocopying aunty.

the conversation was obviously in chinese. but i translated it for easier typing.

R: aunty, you still remember me not?

at this point there was a second aunty who replied, for simplicity's sake we'll call her A2 but A1 is the main aunty. so anyway,

A2: the yesterday that teacher who come and print physics notes one right?

R: nono, you remember me from last time?

A1 turns around and takes a closer look...

R: last time you always come and ask money from me one! i was the treasurer in sec 3... then always come photocopying shop find you.

A1: OHHHH!! that one from 4P issit!

R: no lah 4M.

A1: yea yea i remember. other boys i dont remember, i only remember those that owe me alot of money one!

R: yea! so long ago. got 4years already.

A1: she laughs. mmhmm i remember i remember. now things change alot already hor. you relief teacher issit?

R: ya lor. relief teaching now. holidays in university mah. the school change alot. last time the photocopying shop still downstairs over there.

A1: the school change alot. teachers also. keep coming and going every batch.

R: always like that one lah, my teachers some also not here already.

A1: everything change, aunty got change anot?

R: got... change become prettier now.

WAH. I TELL YOU. I CONFIRM MADE HER DAY. hahahhaaaaaAAA. good job reuben. i knew i always had it in me to flirt with photocopying shop aunties. i've not lost my touch. =p

then today i saw two more of my old teachers. not that they're old now. but teachers from my good ole days. i saw ms tang. OMG. didnt see her for SOO LONG. that time the RI gep batch gathering i didnt go then she said she didnt see me then. so sad. but nvermind at least i got to see her. after her one and half year SEE THE WORLD, she's back at RI =) helping out with the Raffles Academy thing. not too sure what it is. but its something like if u fulfill the criteria for getting into the RA for the subject, you will be taken out of class for that period with other RA kids to do chimmer and more indepth learning for the subject. kinda like the GEP students of a subject. but max only can take 2 RA subjects.

ms tang hasnt changed very much. shes still the very same ole miss tang from 3M and 4M. nice bubbly and very excited. and she couldnt believe that i was in MEDICINE. haha. but alot of people cant as well. so yea. she was like "YOU GOT INTO MEDICINE?!" then shes gonna tell everyone about how naughty i was in the past and nobody's gonna come see me, then i wont get money boohoo!

just now ms tan er min also walked past. and i was like OMGGGG hi. she taught me in sec 2. sec 2 human geog. masayu took sec 3 and yaksy sec4. the geog dept isnt with the science and language department, which was why i didnt see them. she just popped by and said hi. =)

really brings back the warm fuzzy feelings. the 4 years i've spent in this institution has shaped me into who i am today. not so much RJ, because i dont believe RJ has done anything much for me. but RI. and the bond and memories i've shared with my batchmates and my teachers, of the places we went, the lessons we had, is something i will always look back fondly on. even fierce teachers, like LJN. i still think i'd miss her. because underneath her cold strict exterior (she had an article on how she terrorized NUS High Kids) shes actually a very nice sweet old lady. =)

well the good news is that i think i'm staying for the next 2 days. monday and tuesday as well since the teacher is still on leave for family matters. which means i get to see my nice classes include my favourite one. i really like teaching some of them. they're very responsive and have students who are keen on learning. if you ask them questions, at least they bother to answer.

theres one class thats stiff as a century-old cadaveric corpse. they dont even bother replying or make the effort to show that they know what you're talking about because everyone just gives a blank face. i guess i kinda know how GP teachers in RJ feel when we give that sian diao face while they drone on and on about essays and comprehension. i dont really like teaching these classes because it sucks the life out of you. its as good as teaching a wall, but even walls give you echo. i guess they're not as warmed up to me, or maybe they have many introverts in their class.

teachers are supposed to teach all kinds of kids. not just the good ones. but being human, guess we will definitely show favouritism.

saw daryl after i had lunch just now. he was popping by RI to eat. cut his hair for the school soccer team. i couldnt even recognise him at first. gone is the fringe that covered his eyes and made him look sleepy and and cute. lol.

okay its now 4.16pm! time to get off work! =) yayyness. can go home now. hahaha.

the title of this entry reads Reuben and Raffles.

just when i complained that i was lacking of a job in my previous entry, my guardian angel called me up at a whopppping 845am tuesday morning. it was bright and sunny (in dreamland of course) and while all the ZZZs were still floating around my cutie head, my mum rushed into my room telling me that a friend was on the line. so in my half groggy state, only few words like "urgent leave" and "relief teaching" and "wed to fri" registered. and before i knew it, i was to be a relief teacher in RI for sec 4 physics the next day. =)

the first period wasnt too bad yesterday. its always the first period that makes u all jittery. after nearly a year long hiatus, i'm back. not with a vengeance no, but brimming with expectations of having a fulfilling 3days ahead (rather than having eat-sleep-dota life cycles). teaching is something i really enjoy, and RI, a place i'll hold really close to my heart. not to mention the many advantages that come along with it, especially for poor undergraduates who need extra pocket money for shopping sprees, haircuts and protests against the escalating costs of living.

the first class i took was by itself. and was bigger in numbers than my second. they were a typical raffles class. naughty rowdy bois in one corner. the ones who knew more than others and read up before the lesson on their own in another. the quirky one who asked me about capacitors when i was teaching current electricity. and the sports jock with bleached hair yawning away at the back of the class with HUH? written all over his forehead. speaking of which, he got to shake the deputy head masters hand today during assembly for being part of the Singapore U-16 waterpolo team that clinched a gold medal in some competition in Medan. so zai.

second class was much smaller. 14 people only so i actually liked teaching them better. got more class participation. and i could ask more questions to see whether they understood what i was talking about. every class has a cheekier boi. and this class not an exception. they were relatively OKAY to me. hard for people to warm up to a relief teacher on a first lesson i guess.

then came along Research Education. so exciting. i had to take like 3 mini IRS groups as well. and now RE is written into the timetable. and i wasnt allowed to dismiss them till 1335hrs. ahaha. so funny. i didnt even noe their faces, so i had to randomly call up one guy from every group and hope that he could recognise me. saw three groups. made each of them explain what they were doing to me... talked to them abit. AND SOMEONE SAID I WAS OLD BECAUSE I AM 5 YEARS OLDER THAN THEM. ohh well. =/ sux to reach the big TWO this year no? =X

got to see my teachers after so long. its quite exciting really. i still call them lao shi and all. sihui laoshi was very nice. she said i looked like some jap.korean star and passed me a box of Marks&Spencers Redcurrant Puffs. SO SWEET =) and joseph chong was nice as per normal. came over and said hi, and said i should be teaching sexual reproduction for Bio since i was in medicine instead of Physics. he said it kinda loud though. ahhahaha. so paisehhhh. =p

today is a new day. should be more fun. im actually having 3 backtoback lessons. WOOOT. shiokxxxor. i hope i dont die. or at least my throat doesnt fly away cos i talked quite alot yesterday. including tuition after i finished my relief teaching.

OH and. the main point of this entry is about HAIR. reuben never fails to break school rules for hair. i must say i have this special affinity. the moment i walked in. half the world said my hair was too long. including the HOD of science. i was kinda scared when the discipline master walked around in the staffroom. i'll get it cut.. err soon k? im just too lazy to go down all the way to orchard to cut lah. its so mah fan!! howhowhow???

on another note, I had a very bad dream last night. woke up feeling very unhappy. thank god it wasnt true. but alas, dreams are always true to a certain extent no? dreams parallel life.

okay. time to get cracking. i need go see HR dept for my employment stuff and go to the lab for a while to see what things are like. toodles. to a wonderful day ahead in RI! auspicium melioris aevi.

had our Eurotrip discussions today. so LONGGGG. and dreary. actually it wasnt too bad... but by the time we finished going through the itinerary for Italy, we were really too sehhed to think. so we took stupid photos. okay. I took stupid photos. :)




















































basically i was lying on the couch at PCC Vivocity like i was cleopatra and it was my palace. so i thought i was making myself abit too comfortable and feeling abit paiseh. until i saw two angmohs come along and sit in indescribable positions. then i didnt feel so paiseh anymore. lol. secretly snapped a pic of them. the guy happened to be reading some body building book. erpz.

LOOK AT THOSE LEGS


























oops. my legs inside also. =X


























the trip looks good. but alot of museums and finding food places is SUCH a chore. urgh. why cant we just starve. or compress the food into small little tablets to be taken on the spot? =( but i guess european food is definitely worth trying. cant wait.

meanwhile i need a job. anyone? reubs needs money. i'll do anything. sell backside also can. AHAHHA.

another quickie.



























random musing:
of pilots.
you get to see the world.
but you see the world alone.
how can there be true love then?
food for thought.

seeing a sea of uniform green and botak heads at Pasir Ris interchange really brings back memories from the good ole days. the nostalgia of an onlooker who was once part of the honourable SAF juxtaposed against the resentment of soldiers who were deading booking in to tekong holiday resort. how ironic. not to say that BMT didnt give me any good memories, but the bad memories are still terrorising me.

the only good times i remembered about BMT was the beautiful lalang fields and clear blue skies during SIT test. the other time was ironically during guard duty. whenever we walked by the smelly place (the sewage treatment place) behind school one near the coast, i'd stare up at the skies and admire the stars. they were really beautiful. the skies were so clear and dark i'd be able to see so many twinklie twinklies.

and at that time, whenever i felt sad and thought about you, i'd think to myself, we're both looking at the same stars in the night sky. and the thought gave me comfort. although looking back, it might never have been true...

new doors open when old doors close. we must be able to put things down before we can take things up again.

new pic i designed on photoshop:



whirlwind of my emotions
tell me i've got it right this round
see me the way i am
not standing in someone else's shadow
give me ur love, baby

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designer : unriven/}
images : parawan selfsteem
host : blogger photobucket
font: swimchick
background: kitn

reuben.
21.august.1988
leo.

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