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the sound of waves,
lapping the shore.
just like the songs you used to sing.
the gentle breeze,
caressing my face.
reminds me of you.
i see the sunset,
with your head on my shoulders.
your hand in mine,
we would have been so happy.
together.

finally, i have time to blog, on the eve of sch reopening. oh well. this week passsed extremeeely fast. bam and its gone. and dreadful sch begins tmr. but it's been wonderful. i kinda enjoyed myself this week, scattered with little outings, driving (yes its shiok i tell you) and all the stupid movies i've watched.

I LOVE AISHA TYLER. in balls of fury. she rawked. black beauty. SOHAWT and her boobs SOBIG. in loving memory of her and her powerful weapon...



anw its extremely brainless. u pay just to laugh at them and slapstick humour. no plot no chiobus no hunks, just plain idiots. but okay lah, quite funny. AND DUN WATCH UNDERDOG. stupid show. =X lol.

there's no need to fear, underdog is here! BLEH.

and we celebrated pohyuns bdae, which is tmr! :) 1st of october. happy childrens day to all the little kids out there and uhh, my best weekend friend also. hope you had fun! some zilian pics me and huili took during the outing. someone said she looks ancient lah. :P


caught in the act! =X


bangbangbangbang who died?


group shot with sunwukong on stilts.. during Mid Autumn Festival. abit no link, but nvm.

you've got everything now.
you win.

hmm, celebrated poh yun's bdae on sun night. huili decided to eat jap food again! same place that we celebrated my 18th birthday. ichiban boshi at the esplanade. HAAHHA. i felt like i was re-celebrating my bdae instead cos well, i LURVE jap food. got many many pics of us photowhoring. including one with sunwukong@ the esplanade!





saw winston and edison at some concert the same night. they look really different.

drove on monday. IFEELSHIOK. i drove at like 60km/hr close to 70km/hr lah. 3rd time driving lehh. omgomgomg. cant stand it. i cant wait till thursday to drive again.

i had anat tutorial in school today.. hope i dun forget the stuff that he teaches. then i walked walked around town. met many interesting characters and new peepz. haha. i think i had fun on mooncake festival. :)

walk away,

even if you cry, walk away.

its been so long since i had nightmares. i just had one this morning. in fact i had two.

i saw the ring.

and somehow it linked to the second part of my nightmare.

i saw my mum using a highlighter and scribbling on my Guyton (some med textbook) along with many many pen scribbly marks. you know how much i hate being untidy.

i woke up crying and shouting. i hope i didnt wake my parents.

actually, the nightmare was about me feeling helpless. for some weird reason i couldnt do anything to stop my mum from scribbling all over my textbook. and i was angry, yet sad. but i just couldnt stop her.

i hate feeling helpless. its my worst nightmare.

ri you shuo si, ye you shuo meng.

SINGAPOREAN FAT WOMEN ARE SUCH SLUTS.

not that i've got something against fat women. but FAT UGLY WOMEN who are slutty are major nonos. as if being fat and ugly werent bad enough, FATUGLY AND SLUTTY! omg. its like shitting in public isnt bad enough, and you still hafta pee on your shit when you're done. okay. i am SO CRUDE. so unbecoming of a doctor.

but yes, i've been watching MOBtv because i spend a helluva time travelling on buses 165 and 95 everyday. the show to watch is wellness villa. the one with many fat screaming ladies who try to show that they can slim down through like 1 month of exercise and eating healthily. its such a farce. all these FAKE singaporean women.

and why i think they are sluts. there was this challenge where they had to like work out and minus off a target amount of calories. so blue team won, and this was their prize.

THEY GET TO GO INTO A JACUZZI WITH JON JOHNSON (some winner of america's hottest model or sth)

can you imagine this scene. 10 oversized bumbling fat lardballs squeezing in a jacuzzi all trying to have a piece of that model. SLUTS rite. the first thing one piece of pork did was give him a smooch. like a damn long one. ON TV. gawd. shameless. so fat liao still like that. sick lor. i nearly puked.

THEN ANOTHER ONE TRIED TO OUTDO HER. she plucked grapes with her fat trotters and fed them to him by the bunch. i think she tried to touch him under the swirling pools and jetsss of water. sicksicksick. URGH.

that poor guy. i wonder why he agreed. how much is he paid to get swarmed by a horde of fat things. slutty fat things. eew.

AND I MUST SO BITCH ABOUT THIS FUCKING OLD MAN WHO TRIED TO INCH CLOSER AND CLOSER TO ME ON THE BUS...

i was sleeping on the seat, last row extreme right. he had to come plop himself next to me when there were other seats around. the last row could accomodate 5 people at least and there were only 4 ppl on it. HE HAD TO PLOP AND SIT SO FUCKING CLOSE TO ME. body contact sommore when there was space to his left. so at first i was damn nice about it. i gave a tsk and shifted myself. so he wouldnt touch me.

THEN THAT SONOFAGAYBITCH inched closer and closer every other second and everytime the bus turned left he'd take the chance to inch closer. SO CB rite. until i couldnt stand it. i told him off. with a very loud voice.

"CAN YOU PLEASE MOVE TO THE LEFT. WHY ARE YOU SITTING SO CLOSE TO ME"

i was actually shocked that i uttered that. but it drove the point home. hope he dies.

the brain is filled,
but the heart remains empty.
yearning,
a gnawing jealousy,
that eats up a piece of you everytime.
and bit by bit,
you are engulfed in hatred,
and bitterness.
a flaming lust and anger.
that leads to nothingness.
okay,
maybe pain.

sometimes i wish i never existed.

in life, we set many small goals and work towards them.
and its this satisfaction
that we derive from achieving many small goals
that will make us happy.
not the big ones.
its the beginning,
of an ending.
of stepping out and living my own life.
slowly, maybe i'd be the beautiful butterfly that i once was again.
give me back my heart.
please.

slowly i am being overwhelmed by the speed at which the lectures are carrying on for the CB track. if i continue like that, i'm gonna be phagocytosed. ok. medicine joke. i love my lecturer for bone and cartilage. she is absolutely hilarious with her indian accent. =P

rui was telling his good friend, mr ben liang about her accent. she likes to say things like "if you continue talking like that, i cannot continue my lecture. can you please stop talking." so he painted him a wonderful scenario. imagine being in bed with chanrajit kaur. and she'd be "if you continue moaning like that, i cannot concentrate. can you please stop moaning."

lol.

a conversation between me and an arts student.

ME: i knew all arts ppl were evil.

Arts: yup. but less evil compared to medicine ppl

ME: HAHAHAHA. are u sure. we save lives, unlike you people. just write stupid poems which are worthless to humanity.

Arts: we enrich lives.. making lives better so much so that there wont even be a 'chance' for lives to be saved. medicine only cures the symptoms. arts treats the roots.

ME: sure. go recite a poem to your ah ma when she falls sick.

Arts: no. the thing is we write poems n stuff to keep ppl happy so that they WONT EVEN FALL ILL!! when that happens, we wont need docs.

ME: so now poems are the newest vaccinations for the century! recite a poem before you have unprotected sex. you wont get AIDS.

Arts: cmon doctors cant treat or cure viruses too. only suppress. if arts conquer the world from the beginning n disseminate the teachings of LOVE n RESPECT for fellow humans, humans wont even have sex with the chimps who spreaded us the virus. its just so horrible!

lol. its just hilarious.

on the issue of aunties, maids and old women, i think i have manymuchwords to talk about. i think i could just go on the entire night on any of these topics and give everyone wonderful exercise for their abs, as my wonderful friend puts it.

just in the lecture today, we were discussing the possibilities of having to examine an old female patient during our clinicals. since the next lecture was on skin and breasts, it was natural for dr. lovemaking (yours truly) to start talking about it. we were discussing the possibilities of having to talk to the ah ma in hokkien about how KEWKEW (with much elasticity in hokkien) her boobs were.

for example:
"aunty, le kin ni gui hei liao? wah lak chap gor ah? wo ga li kua hor. WOAH. aunty le zin eh lak chap gor hei meh?? an zua aneh lao liao le eh nehneh sibei KEW eh? zin neng lehhhh!"

translated.
"aunty how old are you this year? wah, 65 ah? come let me see. WOAH. aunty, you really 65 meh?? why you so old liao your nehneh still so KEW. so soft!"

this is so unethical. i am a medical student and im making such stupid jokes. urghh.



maria carry. isnt that what mums always tell their maids?



oh gawd. the aunty is so good she never stops. =X rui says its cathartic.

the medicine talk was kinda inspiring. =) it wasnt exactly as bad as i imagined it to be, given that the clinical consultant of surgery did a wonderful presentation. i was really moved when he shared his experiences lah. it was very personal and very real. someday, when i eventually become i full-fledged doctor, i'd want people to look up to me like that as well. and once in a while, we need such people to remind us of what we as doctors should set out to achieve, despite the busy schedules and unfinishable piles of work.

not pride of knowledge,
but humility of wisdom.
not the science of technology,
but the art of healing.

as a doctor-in-the-making, i guess, its important for us to start learning how to like our work. to me, studying stuff now is actually kind of interesting. it gives a sense of accomplishment when i know that i understand more of a certain concept than before. the road of course is tough. i mean. we'll have to know the entire human anatomy, bones muscles and all. and its amazing. who would have that one year from a levels and i'd know so much bio. enough to feed like an entire jc batch la. oh well, despite the fact that i still feel abit icky about touching cadavers. =X

lol. i LOOK LIKE DOCTOR RITE! hhehehhe. was after anat pract before the SMEC.


































today i woke up very early to send adeline off. shes flying off to London! =D heathrow airport. hope you enjoy ur studies there! see you in december, fellow fencing treasurer. oh. i saw a few peepz there, mostly jc frens. saw leslie and andrew also. they were sending ppl off as well. its like sending-ppl-off season. mingren also flying off tomorrow.

HAPPY TOBIMASU-ING! =D AIRFORCE PILOT NI NARIMASU!

after sending addie off, went to eat big breakfast @ macdonalds! =) its been so long since i ate it. must be cos i've never ever been able to meet the 11am deadline. i remember my dad used to bring us to macdonalds for big breakfast and i'd get SO excited. those were the days. ahhh. kids are easily satisfied. so easy to make us happy.

stupid korkor decided to play with my bread (which i never eat) frm the big breakfast. this was wad he made. and he forced me to put it up on my blog. ZZZ. he says its areolar tissue. which is smooth connective tissue. u can find it near ur nipples. HAHA. the two dots are jam btw.

i have so much shit to do!

tmr is formal wear day. which means i have to wear formal wear to school for the Student Medical Education Conference. WHICH IN MY OPINION IS A TOTAL WASTE OF TIME. i could be studying at home about the anatomy of the upper limbs since i am quite weak in that area. URGH. and the thing is, i'm gonna smuggle notes in or sth, and read it while they talk crap.
today was a waste of my time. heres wad happened in the lecture. this prof likes to complain that we're rather non-responsive students.

prof: i have 250 students and only 150 of you put up your hands. the other 100 will fail because they have given up.

-lecture theatre groans-

prof mutters something about students coming up to him after lecture to ask him questions. then he has to repeat what he has said 1238761 times to the students. then complains that he only has the same 24hours a day and 365days a year so its not fair to him blah blah.

prof: so any of you has a question?

girl raises hand and asks a question.

prof says something about question being answered previously and it being too simple and he doesnt wanna waste time. so he asks girl to email him. LIKE WTF RITE. complain that nobody answers/asks questions in lecture hence wasting his time after class. then when ppl ask, he doesnt wanna answer. WHAT IS WRONG. urgh.

and did i tell you that like 80% of lecturers so far are hardly singaporeans. they have the ones made in china, hongkong, france. AND THEY ARE TERRIBLE. ok the french one is okay. but the china one and HK (the prof i just mentioned) one is like urggh. zzz.

ohh and guess what i found in the library today. gawd. BRIGHT RED RENOMA BOXERS. wonder whose. =P ahahha

















being bored in lecture and eating gummy worms. i needa get adobe photoshop. to remove my pimples and edit my pics. now so boring.. =(




there are many things in life we cant control. time. people. love. each of these are equally important in their own rights. sometimes it's funny how i react. upon looking back, being angry with someone may just be the outward expression of an inward inadequacy. of jealousy or such. yet we cant help it sometimes. cos its the most natural defense mechanism for anyone. nobody fights themselves. its only human to push the blame.

im gradually sinking. into books and into the life that im leading now. its not particular anything to be proud of. i might have been with this kind of life i'm leading when i was younger, but not now. one wishes to search for the eternal in the temporal transience. and its funny, cos when you seem to have gotten it, you realise it hardly is what you thought it to be in the first place.

when people diversify, you really don't know where to put your eggs. which basket is secure? when the old one that has lasted you for the eons before slowly begins to diversify as well. networking, the boon and bane for many. or as my senior put it, we're just making friends. and you'll never know what might eventually happen. things are so unexpected.

heavy entry tonite. sorry. feeling abit moody. but not many people will understand. on the good side, today there was actually a little happy event. it gave me abit of hope. but as they always say, sometimes, hope can be a dangerous thing. and its a new breath of fresh air. just one more glance. its always the small things in life that really ever matter.

i have decided to revamp my blog! and i'm gonna make it a photoblog.

since the newest addtion to my collection is a rather pretty Acer Aspire 4920! finally, i have my own lappie! :) whee~ and it has this DOLBY Home Theatre Virtual Surround Sound function. dunno why its virtual. it does sound like surround sound, maybe its just cos it doesnt actually HAVE real surround sound speakers. but its cool anw, and i lurrve it. :) not forgetting, my Crystal Eye webcam hehe.

today's lecture on intro to enzymes was BORING. hence. photowhored with my lecture neighbour. hahaha.


me feeling bored.




















spreading the love to my lecture mate, eileen (ee-leen)





















she cant resist another one!




















my colourful lecture notes...
















went to see the doc just now for my fungal infected feet. stupid lah. since NS not yet okay.. urgh. tomorrow shud be a short day. cos PBL ha€s been shifted to wed. and thus i'll be super shagged on wed. ending @ like 6pm?! sheesh. urgh.

i should go back to snell. =X time for mugging anat!

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reuben.
21.august.1988
leo.

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