A F F I L I A T E S |

P R O F I L E |

E N T R I E S |

the sound of waves,
lapping the shore.
just like the songs you used to sing.
the gentle breeze,
caressing my face.
reminds me of you.
i see the sunset,
with your head on my shoulders.
your hand in mine,
we would have been so happy.
together.

hide it with pink plasters.
bright yellow mickey mouse ones.
or normal brown ones.
sticky ones.
low quality ones made in china.
circular antiseptic plasters.

everyone says you've got nice plasters.
you feel loved.
by the showers of concern.
its temporal,
plaster or love.
cos underneath all of them,

the wound never really closes.

========================

medicine is really tiring. so much crap to mug. so much shit to know. everyday i am practically sleeping @ 2am lor. black eyerings forming like shit. URGH. i hate eyebags. will look like im 26 when i m actually 19. and today i was so tired i didnt go with my OG to watch Rattatouille. hope it was good and HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY MINGZHOU! =D

my eyeball hurts. i think its cos my contacts werent exactly very clean to begin with. then just hurt the entire day. came back to sleep liao wake up still abit painful. next time must wash more cleanly. if theres such a word. tmr's practical again, gonna see the cadavers. i'll touch them with 2 fingers this time. i keep increasing by one every pract kay. its improvement. ahha.

back to notes. maybe i should dota tonite. hmm. see if i m too tired. i needa break. drained.

do you know how it feels,
when you drift past people,
in the lives of those whom you care about.

they have eyes,
that you can never look into.
they have ears,
deafened by the rest of the world.
hearts,
hardened.

an act,
scene 1.
in soothe i know not why i am so sad?
seen one,
yet you're unseen.
unscenic.
with eyes that must not see.

ears that pretend,
huh what?
and a heart that bleeds,
a trickling stream,
slowly.

now banish the crimson,
cremate the blues.
lights,
camera,
action.








birthday's over. gotta get down to settling down to reality, and life.

has been a great birthday i must say. although some ppl didnt get to celebrate with me... yet. =) my family and my churchies. still deciding over when to celebrate cos i dun have a free day. thanks to all those who msged and rmbed my bdae!

thanks to rui, wei and adeline for having dinner @ the bungalow. the yagkyu or dunno what beef was uber nice. yum yum. the desserts at risciotti (i dunno how to spell) were nice too! :) esp the lemon cake thing.. haha. then went to celebrate sommore at the coffee club at clarke quay.

i like my presents! CK's euphoria, korkor's mio bracelet, addie's leo pendant and hulin's topman tshirt! thankew thankew. love them all. too lazy to post pics. lol. ahh well. good nite. i m tired.

and when we've got new toys, we dont bother with the old ones anymore.

Candleburn Lyrics
» Dishwalla

on Vineland past the candle shrine that burns on every night
for someone
she lets herself go
like an angel in the snow
she lays down on her back
down on her back - she goes

take me over when I'm gone
take me over make me strong
take me over when I'm gone
will they burn for me

on Vineland past the candle shrine that melts into the street design
she waits - for someone
tonight she'll give herself away
she'll break apart all by herself
its so easy how we come undone

take me over when I'm gone
take me over make me strong
take me over when I'm gone
will they burn for me

she pulls me in - strips me down
she pulls me in - turns me out
she pulls me in - strips me down

take me over when I'm gone
take me over make me strong
take me over when I'm gone
will they burn for me
will they burn for me

=========================

a friend told me.

u need to start learning to love yourself now.
and understand that...
sometimes loving someone means having to let that person go.
especially when you're not even in love with yourself.
life is short reuben.
dont spend most of it feeling negative.
love as a friend.
its always different.
sometimes, its tempting,
to possess someone.
but its not, if u look deeper down.
if u truly love someone, and not purely in a romantic sense,
u'd just want that person to be happy.
even without you around.
in this world, many things come and go.
we must learn to cope with loss.
but its easier said than done.
but i hope those 2 words,
stay by you.
why depend on others for your own happiness?
the very same happiness that one often chooses to hide from himself.

thank you friend. it means alot to me.

just let me run away.

i think humans are fascinating creatures. their methods of expression makes them sound incredibly funny. there were damn alot of such instances last nite lah.

#1.
before i even left the house, the tv was turned on to dunno what Channel U news. then they were interviewing the couple who gave birth to singapore's first national day baby. so the news reporter was asking the dad "how do u feel about being the dad of singapore's 42nd national day national day baby" in chinese. then obviously the dad's chinese not very good (channel U reporter spoke fluent chinese compared to his stammering reply) and he replied sth about being happy and excited that his sperm met up with his wife's egg at the correct instance and fertilisation occurred such that she was able to give birth at the exact moment singapore turned 42.

shocked? okay i lied. that was MY input. he said sth abt being happy and excited cos hes able to celebrate with singapore in such a way (utter bullshit in my opinion). then the wife was smirking at one side like she was THE ONE who made the right choice in pushing the baby out of her **** (read WOMB) when the clock struck 12midnite. ANYWAY, the point is when the reporter passed the mic to her she had this to say...

"i berry huppie, dutt i am able to hub dee na-sharnnal day bah-bee." yes. shes a fillipina.

TRIVIA: whats the diff between a fillipina and a fillipino? lol

#2.
we went to fish and co for dinner. prior to that we were deciding between surf n turf and fish and co. there was this jasmine salesperson. SHES GOOD. she was like trying to buy us over to surf n turf with all her special promotions and what not. it wasnt too bad lah. just that i think we made the right choice in the end regarding going to fish and co. the peepz there were so nice lah! ahahaha.

there was this CHRIS guy. hes funny. queer i shud say. he wasnt the one who came over to take our orders. but after we finished our dinner, he popped by with 4 pieces of paper and 4 pencils (for the 4 of us). it was like this Nday Quiz which if u got all 5 questions correct, u'd get a free Mocktail "Singapore 42". so everything was good until it came to the last question. we actually all put C as the answer lah.

What are the stuff added into Singapore Sling?
a. something something
b. something something + strawberry
c. something something + pineapple

so after submitting, that CHRIS guy decided to ask us if we wanted to change our answers. at first we were like NO. dun wanna change. then we asked him if he was bluffing or lying. no. we asked if he was for real. he said something like yes i am for real, but not i am not for real as well. dunno what the hell he was trying to say lah. he had an accent. i guessed indonesian, but the another waitress said he was malaysian.

anw, after the for real or not real shit, he suddenly went to tell us about the polygraph test. like when ppl tell the truth, the thing will deflect to the right. if u lie, it'll deflect to the left. he said when people asked him whether he was a guy, whether he says yes or no, the thing wont deflect at all. ?! meaning to say he himself doesnt noe if hes a guy or a girl. though he does look male, i think if he drags, he can pull it off. he looks like aloysius in phua chu kang. abit queer, but a funny guy nonetheless. oh well.

but when after a few times, he kept asking if we wanted to change answers, we finally relented. we changed two out of four pieces to option B. then that cb after he collected, he said we would get two drinks only. COS OPTION C WAS THE CORRECT ANSWER. oh well. apparently they were trained to trick ppl lah. wtf?! lol. but it definitely brightened up our nite with his funny antics. then he took a polaroid for us. =D

ahh well. interesting human beings. i think i'll make the list on someone elses blog too. =X lol.

went to sentosa on monday with my OG. kinda chaota like lobster now haha. peeling like nobody's business. must start smothering my mother's moisturizer all over the face. ahh but it was fun lah. we played frisbee, volleyball (which i am not bad at), swimming, made sandcastles and all. reliving my childhood. i dun remember going to the beach much.. ahh well. it was good time spent. =P

WARNING! SCROLLING DOWN MIGHT INDUCE MUCH JEALOUSY (given the fact that the rest of my post is filled with pictures of yours truly). hence SCROLL DOWN AT YOUR OWN RISK. and don't complain that i'm zilian or a photowhore / shutterslut. cos i KNOW that i am. anw its not that many either, i only appeared in around 70% of the photos. and kudos to daniel korkor for bringing his $1k plus cam to the beach! hahaha. :) enjoy the photos!



playing with ball in water!


why u keep taking picture of my unglam poses?!


huh? lol.


merman? don't you lurrrvve my crabs. =P


my first sand-crab!


group shot with OG.


couple shot! general gillian.


the farmer and his wife.


jonsng's newest latrine. complete with poly dual flush.


my err, sandcastle?


our angkukueh making factory.


eeks. so gay.


PUSHHHhh~! mingzhou the gynae..


hit you where it hurts most.


being dumb.


bye bye sentosa!!







======================================



but if i turned away from what i've started,
then will i always wish that i have tried?
by breaking free will you be broken hearted?
what will i see when all the tears have dried?
- sing to the dawn.

this song could mean so many things.

------------

today was the last day of my relief teaching stint @ RI. it was nostalgic. it brought back so many wonderful memories of the days i spent there. things have changed though. feelings are different. not the same that i've felt before. the way i've always felt. the school's changed alot. it looks modern now. somehow its architecture was modelled after RJ's. hence there is a lot of glass and concrete around, painted in our royal green black and white.

my memories:

i remember in sec 1, i was the treasurer of my class. why? because i made the most noise during whacko in orientation. always pointing to the left when the person was supposed to be on the right. in sec 1, we had useless art teachers. madame cheah kum lin, otherwise affectionately known as cheah kum quat. i was late on the first day of school, and appeared in the wrong classroom some more. how paiseh. the first guy i sat next to was tan wei chong. and the first stupid question i asked was when i asked rui if he had a twin brother. to which he said yes, and i was very shocked.

sec 2. mrs tay was our form teacher along with ben kong. ahaha. i remember the thailand trip to prem tinsulanonda. the learning journey was so fun. it was my first intro to thai course. till now, i cant forget words like kao ten (rice cake), mamuang (mango), prikinu (chilli). who could forget the scolding jee nee gave to the entire bunch of toothpaste smearing, person stripping gang. "like a pack of wolves" she said. ahaha. sec 2 was when i had slaves piggy backing me around corridors, and many bouts of wrestling and pinning guys down to the floor. back then, we were carefree, we didnt need to care what the world thought.

in secondary 3. i wanna go to different classes from my best frens. i was sad. i didnt like the new class i was in. masayu and boonhuat were my FTs. gawd. they were BAD. not to say i didnt have fun. once again i was treasurer with benny and weihan. i think we worked the best together. sec 3 was the malaysia trip. the one where we sat on a little boat to see fireflies. yin huo cong.

my last year at RI was packed. i told myself i had to make the most out of the the remaining days here. i went for things like dramafeste and all. and sing to the dawn. it was my first musical. the songs and words were meaningful, in more ways than one. slowly, things came back. then it was the Os. my last memory of RI was the chiangmai trip with mrs tay and the interact club. it was the best of the best of the best. i really had a lot of fun.

------------

teach us well, teach us how to care,
give us love, love that we can share,
as we walk hand in hand in the light of the rising sun,
we are the young, we are the young.
- we are the young.

and if you try, what does that make of the relationship?

let go, let love, let live.

alright i'll try.

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reuben.
21.august.1988
leo.

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