A F F I L I A T E S |

P R O F I L E |

E N T R I E S |

the sound of waves,
lapping the shore.
just like the songs you used to sing.
the gentle breeze,
caressing my face.
reminds me of you.
i see the sunset,
with your head on my shoulders.
your hand in mine,
we would have been so happy.
together.

yay! just came back from fencing exco dinner @ marche. ate quite alot of nice stuff there. there was the cheese sausage thing which was nice, fat and long. should have taken a pic of of it, but i forgot. =X lol. then there was the ribeye, which wasnt too bad. nice and soft. then i ate the potato thingy that was quite famous. and calamari rings, mushroom soup and all. =X not too bad. then for dessert we ate waffles + caramel banana + vanilla icecream. mmmhmm.

i think our exco has left behind a tradition of excellence and teamspirit. lol. cos we were in fact the most bonded exco so far. dynamic and fun loving. i think we've set a good example to the next batch. hopefully, they'll be able to live up to our standards =) the most fun thing of cos wasnt the food. it was the activities that nite.. lol. watch the pics...




zhunrui gets stuffed with a pork knuckle..




wendy stuffs herself =X




nicole's new found bf! the bdae boy.




pompom boys. eeks.




new captain couple! =)




first BrokeBack! bdae boy hugs junhao...




second BrokeBack! mr teo and a cutie...




little red riding hood asks for wendy's number...




group pic!




j1 exco!




j2 exco!

i fenced all 3 weapons today. aha. fenced alvin the cutie j1 for foil. =) siyuan the not-so-cutie for epee. and alvin the not-cute-at-all for sabre. lol. btw, the two alvins are different. and i shant say that my scores. cos they were quite embarrassinggg. =X lol.

and i havent written my gp essay.

if only i could write GP essays on topics as interesting as such. "death is not the greatest loss in life. the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live". and question the meaning of love and life instead of finding out why microbes are eating up food that is ours, or why hydrogen and oxygen combine to form water.

i think we need to be taught how to love, rather than learn the anatomy of a human heart. schools should teach how humans should treat one another, with dignity and respect, and not how chemicals react. we should be taught that daring to show your emotions of pain and love is not a sign of weakness, but of strength. one day, we will be able to learn all these. definitely not in school, but in one way or another.

i read the story of joan chan in the newspapers, Sunday Times Life Section if i'm not wrong. it's saddening that a girl at such a young age will have to go through the pain and suffering of cancer. she is now 19 or 20 years old. was an ex rafflesian from RGS and RJC. she was a softballer. then an ulcer on her tongue degenerated into cancer. when she found out there was a lump on her throat, it was already found to be in 3rd stage. which is one stage from terminal cancer.

the knowledge that you have to die seems to be more painful and depressing than just dying eventually. when you know that once you're gone, you'll fade into the memories and photos of those who once knew you. and its scary. at least for me in my opinion. at least when you die and not know it, it hits you in the face so you don't have time to react. but when you know that you're gonna die in a certain amount of time, would you fight to save every minute, every second?

if i had to die, i think i'd want to see everyone that has been in my life for a little chat. it seems that its only before you die before you dare to show all your emotions to those that you really love. ironical that when you're alive and kicking, you've never really dared to say that you loved that person. some of whom i'd hug and never wanna let go. if i could, i'd die in your arms.

joan has courage that not many have. despite her knowing that things are not turning out too well, she has been positive and taking things in her stride. i really applaud her courage. and i really wish the best for her.

on a lighter note, i went to support RJC at grange road for their soccer match todae against MJC. thanks to bessie the cow and benny the shortie. somehow they convinced me into going lah. and i dun even noe how they did it. =X the match started off ok. though i must say MJC was good with their balls lah. all their passing and scoring and all were very nicely executed. not to say that RJC was terrible or anything, but yea, the opponents were good. and we could see. score was 5-1 to MJC in the end, with lightning and heavy rain.

today has been tiring. i need to finish my GP essay on philosophy before bedding. tmrs fencing day again. yay.

oh. and on a sidenote, i think carmen and poonsie are very compatible. =)

another of my many sidenotes: guys that sign up to work @ newurbanmale have to fill up a form. one of the many questions include "are you gay?" and i supose they've got face to face interviews to inspect the bods of the shopkeepers to ensure that they look like they go to the beach every other day. lol. =) newurbanmale is cool. they sell both apparel and flesh. =P

and zhiyang is confirmed not straight.

for everyone who doesnt show you care and concern out there, there is always someone else who does. treasure the ones who are by your side because they are the ones you'll always forget or take for granted. a simple gesture to show that you care may seem small and insignificant, but it will definitely leave an impact on their lives.

i realised that i've alot of time. i can invest it in the following areas:

1. my work, i.e. my studies,
2. my games, i.e. warcraft (which my mum thinks is a complete waste of time)
3. my play, i.e. fencing and other sports
4. my frens, i.e. people around me
5. or myself

i conclude that the best returns for my investment would be 1 or 5. 1 in terms of grades, my distinctions, As and wad nots. but life would be so boring if it were all about grades. they are meaningless to me currently. and it doesnt help that i just got the commontest II schedule today. sigh. so what if i can get 4As 2Ds, get president scholar or wadeva.. bleh. it means nothing to me.

as for investment in myself, i think that it'd be just pure indulgence. i noe after awhile it gets boring. but everyone needs to love himself once in a while, given that nobody out there, unless you're attached, is willing to love you unconditionally.

4 is a risk that i'm willing to take only for certain people. hi-bye frens abound in RJC. there arent many who can carry a conversation with me from bishan to city hall on the mrt. much less for me to confide in when i'm down.

i've been doing alot of soul searching these few days, especially last night. there are many questions to which the answers i do not know. many of which i want to find out but people do not wish to say. similarly, there are many questions that i've asked my dear higher-order-being sitting up there in the clouds for quite a while now. as of now, i hear silence.

someday, i will understand.

and it seems suicide is always an open option. a poor dude who jumped off the bus interchange cos his dick was too small. outsiders chuckle and laugh at his stupidity. i applaud his bravery, though it might have been brave for foolish reasons. when i come to a dead end where this logical mind can no longer serve any purpose to its master, can someone tell me what to do?

everything seems transient now.

i remember that you said when i was depressed that if i jumped from the 26th floor, you'd be down there to catch me. it really touched me when you said that. we always need one or two people in our lives to let us believe that life is worth carrying on. but when events occuring everyday just sap the life energy out of you, do you really have the willpower to continue on?

and if i died tmr, how many out there would mourn my loss. just how many? i'll never know...

fencing camp

fencing camp this year has been a wonderful experience. i think partly because of the enthusiasm on the part of the j2s as well as the fun-loving j1s that i had in my group, this has marked a closure on my duties as treasurer in fencing, albeit a bittersweet one. the only relief is that i have complete faith in the next j1 exco to be an efficient one.

i had fun interacting with the j1s. they were all enthusiastic and all about fencing.. haha. balpreet was super funny during camp. we played whacko for our icebreakers then cos she and jia hua lost, then they had to do some titanic dance thing on a bench while the whole group sang along. so sporting and funny.

then came my station in NO NG, i.e. the disgusting blender station. we started blending all kinds icky stuff. like celery, plus dark soya sauce, vinegar, sweet thai chilli sauce, honey, condensed milk. fruits included apples, bananas, lemons and oraanges. smelled like shit, looked like shit, but all of them were nice enough to drink. one group came back to my station FOUR times cos they failed to complete another station. =X poor thing.

had some other ball games during the afternoon, i didnt play much with them. ended up playing tennis instead at the tennis courts. lol. then came the exciting pulling ppl out of the circle thing. some ppl thought it was very funny. but for the j2s it wasnt. kana trampled on like grass cos they were all so cb strong. some even jumped on us lah! =X lol. then my leg that went into the ring kana trodden until now got skin come out, abrasions and wad not. but it was worth it and memorable. poor darren got injured, but luckily it was fine.

then they had games @ night. war games actually. i wasnt paying attention. was doing the nightwalk trail. now i realised how kuniang reuben jr was. LOL. he was so scared of going on his own lah!! LOL. so funny to see him trembling and screaming going up the stairs during the route. hehe. then noelle also. i hope they found it scary, cos i thought it was.. and yea. the amount of effort planning would have been worthwhile if it was scary. =)

that night was the night of my life. thanks.

we had fencing exco election discussion until 4am in the morning. was so SEHHHhhh by the time we got to treasurer cos it was the last post.. then i went to sleep until around 8am. before getting up, washing up and getting ready for the drain walk. drain walk was ABSOLUTELY disgusting. but fun.

we had this whole array of sauces lined up to destroy them in the drain while they were blindfolded. so funny. there was my condensed milk, vinegar, mud water, flour, honey, tissue paper mixed in water = sludge, then the teacher ic made starch by adding hot water to the flour. =X lol. and it was warm sommore. so we just started squirting and playing and it was so terribly dirty and all. but SOOO much fun.

poor andre xiao got the brunt of it. but everytime he had something on his hand, he'd wipe it on jingxun who was in front of him. those two are quite a cute combi.

exco elections was rather boring, but the surprising thing was that all the new exco members were as we expected and most of them came from my group. wahahah. and oh well. they didnt believe that the grouping list was randomised. =X

mr ng was nice enough to get the new j1 exco members to smear sludge on the j2 members. in fact, only rui and i got it for some weird reason. i think mr ng caught up with rui and darren caught up with me. quite a sight to see darren limping behind and me limping away from him. cos both of us hurt our foot. but in the end i STILL got that starchy thing on me. had to bathe again.

then he brought the j2 exco out to crystal jade for lunch/dinner. it was very nice of him. and the food there was really good.. =) thankss mr ng! went back home, plopped onto the bed. and slept till the next morning. still tired..

tmrs gonna be a long day, just like this weekends gonna be long and tiring. but i hope its fun. =) cos i think tiring and long weekends are fun. at least i dun have to do hmwk. theres fencing camp to look forward to, though i think things are gonna screw up bad, but i DO hope that in the end, they'll all be happy and everythings gonna turn out fine.

tmr must go shopping for the stuff. logistics. i need to print out a list of things to buy. candles and what not. it'll be fun...

to YOU:
its great once in awhile to be reassured.
just wanted to say i'm sorry.
yes. i was overrun by emotions.
i wasnt thinking straight.
but now, you know how impt you are to me.
i dun care if its unequal.
i'll still treat u the way i've always did.
Semper Fidelis.

got back maths today. rather satisfactory results. 57/70 = 81%. deproved by one mark cos last years cts and promos i got 58. lol. anw, i think i did rather well. 4th in class for maths. not very high, but enough for CCP not to niao me during maths class. jeanne tan wasnt very happy with out talking though. sigh. stupid charissa lah. ask stupid questions.. if only i continued reading Sophies World and ignored her. now jeanne tan cry dunno how many times in class while scolding already. i feel bad lor. =(

tmrs a long day. though technically it supposed to be short cos its running wednesdays timetable. powerpacked day. end sch at 12, then i got my fencing exco interviews. all the way till 230. then i have reheaarsal with mr lyon, which i'm kind apprehensive. cos i cant get into the persona of a 40year old businessman person that i am. the physiccality of it is not there. must try to imagine what mr booth would do when he gets home from work or sth.

sat would be ORA day. have to act as xiao dong. and ive gotta get hold of hte costume and get it cleaned first. so disgusting. its prolly crawling with woodlice and what not. btw, anyone wants haunted house tickets? =X

gonnna go off now.. =) nites.

cause you mean more to me than i to you.

todae was a long day. but it was fun. it was actually a short day cos todae ran fridays timetable, meaning that i'd end @ 12noon. but due to fencing exco interviews todae, i had to stay back from till 430 and the whole thing ended at around 730? i must admit though it was quite fun watching the ppl squirm in their seats and how some valiantly deflected off the exco's grilling qns and stares, esp from wendy, while others meekly gave up. =X lol.

well. the only thing the j2s are leaving behind would be an impression. and i'm kinda sad thats the only thing we'll leave behind after 2 years in fencing. we wont be interacting much with our j1s, sadly, but rather i think we've built more frenships within our batch and with the coaches. yea.

got back my bio commontest results. scraped a B with a 59.5. sigh. first time i'm getting such devastating results. but i'm shielded already. it was a shitty paper. i dunno wad got into me, but i'm definitely working much harder for the next paper.. =( sigh. wad to do. its over anyway. GP wasnt that bad, a B3, which was normal. 27/50 for compo, with lots of red ink and comments like "rubbish" and "overgeneralisation". wad to expect. comprehension was much better at a 36/50. =) quite happy with that. so i suppose compre was an easy paper..

tomorrows long day with Physics S. so boring.. i cant do PnC for maths, and nitrogenous compounds is QUITE challenging. i dun like.. so i'll bathe, and maybe sleep early tonite.. nites.

its over. and its time to move on.

----------------

zhiyang won campus superstar. hes got a very very nice tenor voice. i koped the recording of his song from online somewhere. cant rmb where. his voice rather.. high. reminds me of lin jun jie. =) but not bad. think he deserved to win.

renfreds quite cute. but like i said, and even my mother agrees on this, renfred looks very cheenaa.. like some chinaboy on first look. but somehow he's quite charming, cos he looks ORDINARY, but the more u look at him, like the more u wanna look again. i think its his smile. hes got very nice straight white teeth. and goddd. TWO DIMPLES! how much karma did he have in his past life to get those two dimples. lol. so cute.

zhiyang on the other hand loses out on the build cos hes kinda short. and zr thinks he looks pinched. wadeva it means. but his voice is not bad. and apparently, according to khee ngiap, hes gay. =X dunno where he got his news from. but his bf was from anderson and in HC now.. wahhaha. looks like the girls out there would be dying from ethanoic acid poisoning.

not bad lah. the two campus superstars. one can croon ppl to sleep with his voice. the other one, just makes u feel so good inside when he smiles at u. then u'll fall asleep looking at his face that kind. lol.

the girls side leh. aiyo. always must have butch. for what lor. not very chio, then cannot sing. the other one was quite interesting. she sang with a choir and a piano, though i dun think that was the best option, but wads life if u dun try out things. =) her voice is good. bright and pitching not bad. she deserved to win. =)

life goes on. tmr is a long day with chem S.. i need to cut hair soon.

i'm stressed. why? you tell me why. sigh.

so long never blog. beeeen bussy the whole week and days just zoooom by. its not very long till A levels if u think about it. one more commontest, a prelim exam, and poof its the BIG THING already. =X

rp's having a costume party tomorrow, theme is : outrageous. i really havent thought of how to dress yet. maybe i'll come in as a weird thing in a toga. =X like i did for orientation.

needa start planning the fencing camp soon. hope that dearest zing will be able to be of help in providing some games. =) and i'm making sure a FEW j1s are in my group for fencing. afterall, nicoles helping with the arrangement, cos shes a fellow grp leader.. lol so we're gonna get the most dynamic group! =)

and next sat is ORA day. so spastic. must help out with RP's haunted house. so xiaodong will be out on the prowl again. catch xiao dong in rjc from 8am - 3pm. lol.

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reuben.
21.august.1988
leo.

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