A F F I L I A T E S |

P R O F I L E |

E N T R I E S |

the sound of waves,
lapping the shore.
just like the songs you used to sing.
the gentle breeze,
caressing my face.
reminds me of you.
i see the sunset,
with your head on my shoulders.
your hand in mine,
we would have been so happy.
together.

i like soap serials. i like zhen1 qing2, the million episode hongkong serial that talks all about love and family ties. everytime we gaze into a rectangular black box full of tubes that emit light of different colour called a television, we laugh at the stupidity of the female characters that go crawling back to the guy who has cheated them of their love, their money and their virginity. yet how often do we question ourselves if this actually happened to us, would we still continue like what the characters in the show did, i.e. crawl back to their man and beg for them to return, hoping secretly that their sincerity and earnestness would move that person's heart and they would eventually return to their side.

Seriously, though it looks so stupid from a 3rd person's pov, once in the shoes of the character, i guess the whole thing changes. i shall thus pour out my heart here. and relieve myself of all the pent up pain and suffocation within me which i've never ever gotten over.

what do u mean when u say u love someone. it probably means that u're willing to give your all for him/her. and in that all that you give. you expect nothing in return, except for a reciprocation of your love and dedication. every second you spend with him/her is like being in heaven. Being able to communicate with someone who knows you so well. inside out. whatever you think, he/she knows in his/her heart already. but sadly, things of this world would never last. who could ever promise they would stay true to their spouses given the recent worldwide increase in divorce cases? who could ever say i love you and mean it for the rest of their lives. few. if not none.

for simplicity's sake lets just name two androygenous (dunno how u spell that) characters A and B. So A and B were together as good friends. A loved by with all of A's heart but A wasnt sure if B really loved A. But still, they were the best of friends, doing everything together. It didnt matter that people thought A and B were not suitable for each other because A didnt care. As long as A could do A's part as a good friend to B and care for B with all of A's heart, A would be content.

One day, A made a stupid mistake of leaving B for a one year hiatus from their relationship. Apparently, B was heartbroken. But meanwhile, B went around looking for friends and made good friends. A finally realised A's stupidity at the end of the one year hiatus and decided to come back to B. During the one year hiatus, A never saw anyone. A remained true to B. From then on, A tried really hard to mend their broken relationship. A tried all means, talking on the phone, talking on MSN, but B never accepted A.

Although B was amiable and friendly to A on the outside, B always gave A the cold shoulder. It probably wasnt directly thrown at A's face. But A could sense it. People call it body language. Communication is more body language than just ur mouth itself. Whatever you appear to ppl, i.e. ur body language, could strike a longer lasting impression than what you say. So well, A got terribly depressed. EVerytime A tried to strike up a conversation with B, B decided to dismiss it with one word answers.

One day, B decided to ask A for a favour. A still loved B. A always loved B throughout A's life. Never once forgetting B. On special occasions such as B's birthday, A would send a gift and a nice letter to B. On the last day of school, since A even sent a gift to B and also a note reminscing about the times they spent together. A hoped that B would return to A. But how wrong. B just said a "thats so sweet, thanks" and left. A waited for a reciprocation. But B never did anything. When A casually asked B whether B was giving A a gift, B dismissed it with a "soon"

All the times when B needed help, A gave off A's best to aid B. But whenever A just wanted to strike up a conversation with B, B would be busy, studying, reading up on physics and gave one to two word answers. One night, A knew of something that B would be interested in, A just wanted to spend time with B. just talking. just talking. However, B was in B's mood of reading physics textbooks late at night again, and thus replied with only 1 word answers. A finally broke the news of something interesting to B.

That finally caught B's attention. After which, he continued pressing on. Hmm. lets make the story more interesting by having a conversation.

B: can u just complete the story. this is like the 4th time im asking u
A: FINE.
A: FINE. all that u want is probably the story. and once i finish it. u'll log off and sleep. cant u just give me a few more minutes of ur attention?!
A: screw it. fine. XXXXXXXXXX. and u noe the rest ok? happy now? go sleep.
A: *crying smiley*
B: do u expect me to confort u
A: no i dont
A: if this were in sec 2. u would
A: but now that we're sec 4. u wouldnt.
B: ppl change
A: u were the only one that could make me upset over ppl. u were the only one that could make me cry.
A: but nvm. everythings changed now like u said
A: i shudnt just harp on my stupid foolish dreams anymore.
B: lets not talk abt this shell we
A: for one i really did like u. and i liked u alot. but what can i say now? i've lost you. so its over. nvm. we can just be normal frenx from now on.
A: sigh nvm
A: i already told u all that i noe.. i guess u're probably tired now. U'll probably log off and go and sleep now that u've known the whole story.
B: no specifics? (referring to the story)
A: .........
B: just trying to stir u away from the topic
A: u're good. u brushed aside all that i said with 1 sentence.
ehh
A: are u going off now?
B: yar
A: did u ever like me?
A: tell me.

A: dun go. tell me
A: pls.



sigh. how stupid can A get. whose fault is it? A's fault for leavin? or B's fault for ignoring? u tell me..

take it up and put it down.
1:36 AM